Monday, August 4, 2008

Living For Today

Today was a horrible day!
I am so feeling not ok and it was hard enough getting up to go to work, but I had also got up at 2:30a.m. and did not fall back asleep until 5:30a.m., but surprise! I had to get up an hour later! So I was crabby...and being sick did not help my sleep deprived state. Today I just really miss Lucas. I was kind of content with being alone and having "me" time but I am now sick of that and it didn't take long! I keep thinking..."Meggan wake up from this bad dream." but that is just what this feels like, so not real. Is he REALLY gone for 6 months? Is he REALLY going to miss out on Birthdays and Holidays? I am trying not to think about all that negative stuff, I really am. I guess having a bad day will just make everything else around you 10 times worse. All I know is the phone calls that I get in the middle of the night from him keeps me smiling, stronger, and hopeful. It amazes me how his voice and now being able to see him through his web cam, helps to calm me and think positive again. I think that just shows each other how much we love one another and really rely on each other to get through this together. We have fought a lot leading up to this deployment, but I believe it was because we were pushing each away from feeling the hurt of really losing someone, but we are drawing each other back in and it feels good being so close, but so far away from him. It truly tests your character and love...I am glad that I am going through this test with him and it will only make us stronger. Hell...We have been through everything else...whats one more thing we haven't been tested on right? ;) Living for today is all I can do...lets just hope tomorrow comes and goes just as fast! Love to you all from both of us!

1 comment:

inluvwithcupcakes said...

hehe Hello! i didn't know you had it too! gol, i think everyone does :) yay tho i'm excited, how the frick are you?