Saturday, August 23, 2008

Lets Be Honest

I think it is very important to be honest especially if you are public with how things are REALLY going...there is no point lying about the trialing times. Life is not always full of smiles and peaches (at least I hope not, because I would have to worry...lol).
This week has been the worst week I have had in a long time. Me and Luke have had our own personal battles and have spoke less with one another this week. It is hard fighting with each other thousands of miles apart...but you choose to pick your battles and decide what is really important. Being apart is just starting to get difficult...I think we just both realize that we are unhappy, not with each other, but just in terms of where we want to be in life. It helps to speak of the future, Lucas getting out of the military, being closer to family, having our own family (which I think is well overdue...lol) and just living a "normal" life. No more moving every year and not having a stable life. It was fun when we were younger, I feel so old, but now it is just getting annoying having to completely pick up and start over again...I have lost so many really great friends and it is becoming harder and harder. I miss North Carolina a lot, but the grass is always greener on the other side! That I have truly learned...I just need to learn to be happy with what I have and not worry about what I don't.
This time apart is helping me to find myself and discover things that I need to work on. I think Lucas is also figuring such things out too and what he wants out of his life and for OUR future which is important. We are still young and figuring out who we are and want to be...I'm just glad we can accept each other as we change. Nothing seems to make sense right now, but staying positive is one thing I can do the best...

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