Minor Set Back

Just like expected, the date got pushed back a little bit. Instead of them arriving on Monday it will be Wednesday now (which is actually the orginal date they gave us). I am a little bummed and I was getting anxious for Monday to come, but I figure if I have gone 6 months already...whats another 2 days right? It was kind of expected as the military is never for sure on anything and it can change up until the last minute. So let's just hope this is the last change of date for his arrival, because I will have a break down if it get's moved any further!

Can You Believe It?

I know I say this a lot throughout my posts, but I can not believe that I made it this long. I remember feeling like it will NEVER end (some days more than others) but it went pretty fast when my mind was busy. Hard to believe that I have missed out on 6 months of Lucas' life and vise versa, but I know in my heart that this deployment and time apart made us so much stronger! Our relationship has been through so many tests, this was just another small bump in the road and we can now honestly say we made it through all that life can throw at us and were on top. I am the happiest person right now and luckiest girl in the world to have someone like Lucas in my life. He is my best friend and I have missed having one around that isn't thousands of miles away (Kate, Melissa and everyone I still love you and thanks for being there for me many miles apart!). With Lucas' homecoming brings more happiness as we get to go home to Minnesota after not seeing our family for 8 LONG months. This has been the longest months without them and especially not being around for the holidays for the first time in 6 years. In the past I wasn't very close with my family, but through this experience I have found comfort in calling them every night and just knowing they are just a phone call away. Ok, I'm getting emotional, but I am sure it will only get worse as the week goes on. I can not thank you all enough for being there for me and Lucas through such a tough time that most people wouldn't understand. We are ALL so much stronger because of this! Thank You! I love you all!

Only 7 more days!

XOXOXOXO

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Merry Christmas!

I hope that everyone has a great Christmas and enjoys being around one another! Luke and I can't wait to get home and have a late Christmas with all of you! Love you!

As Of Today...

This morning Lucas gave me the first word of when they would be home since we have not heard yet when exactly. The word on the street is that they will be leaving Okinawa on the 5th (the 4th here) which means they will be in the states on the 5th some time. After arriving home he will have 4 days off and then his 2 week leave will begin till the 25th! Good news huh? Hard to believe this is happening! Hopefully this will not change as the military has a history of changing things up a few times before getting it straight. As of today, I am a happy camper!

Seriously, Come Home NOW

It just hit me as I was driving home from a late day at work that Lucas will hopefully be home in 2 weeks. (and if not, shortly after) I just can not get it through my head that I will finally have him here. It has been so long! I forgot how it felt to be around him, to hold him, and just to spend time with someone else besides me, myself and the dogs. I am so excited it is hard to contain it all inside right now! I just know that I am going to have this overwhelming emotion when I see him...I will probably burst into tears! Its going to feel so good to have my love home and not take another day for granted that we have with one another. That is one important lesson you will learn when you are going through a deployment!

5 Months 3 Weeks Today

Another week under my belt that I will never have to do again of this deployment and it is feeling better than ever! 16 official days left (taking it from him coming home January 7th) so I hope he gets to home earlier and not later. Lucas told me that they gave him a window of January 4th through January 17th. So in between that time he will be here. I don't think I could possibly wait any longer! (So cross your fingers for me!) They are just waiting for the next squadron to release them.
Lucas had duty again last night (24 hours post) so I am sure he is tired. However, he will have plenty of days off for Christmas and New Years which will be good. It is hard to believe that Christmas is already here! It doesn't feel like it even though I have my tree up with presents underneath it. It must be the lack of snow! I hope everyone is doing well. We miss you all!
XOXOXO

Happy Birthday!!!!

Happy Birthday To Langston!

My nephew is 2 today and he is getting so BIG! I hate that I am missing out on so much! And he barely knows me, but I hope that when I get home he will warm up to me again and we can hang out more! It is hard being so far away, but one day we will be closer and I won't miss out on so much and I will be the Mimi they want to come run away to...right? LOL, I hope so! Happy Birthday Langston, I love you and miss you! Can't wait to give you a squeeze when I make it home!

5 Months 2 Weeks Today

Lost In Korea Somewhere...

Taking A Break From A Long Day Of Hiking And Exploring Iwo Jima

Paying Their Respect To Fallen Soldiers

Lucas Leaving Behind His Aircrew Wings

A Piece Of Him Forever There

Many Have Come And Left Something To Show Their Respect

Gorgeous View On The Hill Top

Lucas On The Beach

Lucas just recently went to Iwo Jima, where I am sure it was an incredible feelings to be there, but a somber feeling to know what took place at that very spot. Lucas left behind his aircrew wings, while others left their dog tags or something else to show their respects. It was incredible to see the amount of dog tags that were left behind. Iwo Jima is probably his last trip before coming home since it is just right around the corner. Just 3 weeks from today and Lucas will be back in the states, I couldn't be more excited. The days seem to be getting longer now, just like they did in the beginning, but I am hoping that they will pass as I try to keep busy for a just a little longer. I am so anxious! However, this will be the best Christmas present I have ever gotten, besides my engagement ring of course! 3 weeks away from feeling whole again...

Officially A Month Away

Today marks 5 months and 1 week since Luke has been gone and I am officially one month away from seeing him, however it could be earlier we just don't know yet. I hope to find out the official date of when they will be here soon and also his leave dates...can't wait to come home to MN! My stress levels seems to be high as I have so much to do before he gets home and Christmas on top of it all! I am feeling anxious and nervous and I just can't wait for the day to be finally here. I can't help but think about my other friend, Melissa, whose husband left a week later than Lucas and how she has to go a whole month longer than I do...I am grateful he gets to come home when he does.
Just know ladies who are going through this, it does get better (I thought it wouldn't) and time passes as the world doesn't stand still for anyone. However, I know the moment that we see our men, the world will stand still for us as we embrace the people that we love in our arms and hold on to them tighter than we have ever done so before. Loving someone is one thing, but loving a person from a distance to so bitter sweet...we really do have the toughest job in the military! =)

It's Good To Have Him Back...In Okinawa

It is good to have Luke back in Okinawa because now we can go back to our regular talk schedule...lol. It is so nice to be able to talk to him almost everyday instead of playing it by ear and going days without knowing how he is or even where he is. I can't wait for his new computer to arrive so we can chat via web cam...just want to see him. I hope you all have heard from him! Hang in there we are almost done! I am planning on going to a deployment briefing soon and I will let you all know the details when I get them!

5 Months STRONGER!

Hard to believe ANOTHER week has come and gone. I feel so close to the end, but so far at the same time. I kinda don't think it is real that I will see him in just a month...but when I do...(sigh), I am going to be the happiest girl in the world. This journey has been one that has tested my strength to the core and I am glad that I have been able to stand on my own and be very independent, which I haven't been really in my life...depending on Lucas and my parents and it is just nice to depend on myself. However, I don't like to be alone! So it will be nice to have my side kick back.
Got to talk to Lucas after 4 days of not hearing from him and they are back in Okinawa safely. Now we just play the waiting game. Lucas finds out soon his leave dates for when he gets back, so hopefully it will be right away and for 2 weeks so we can head home...8 months is too long to not see family! It has killed me internally to see what I have missed out...my niece and nephew growing so big that I hardly recognize them and just being around for them to know me and vise versa. BUT...we will be home soon and that is all that matters...plenty of time to catch up! Love you all and thank you for your constant support...it means so much to both of us!
XOXOXO

Happy Thanksgiving

I am having a tough day already being so far from family and Lucas, but I have so much to be thankful for, that I am trying not to dwell too much on it! I can just picture my mom slaving away in the kitchen from 4 am till it gets served at 1 pm. I also hope that Lucas got to relax for the day and have a good meal, but I doubt that might have happened since they are on the ship. (Wishful thinking!) Since it is technically Friday there today, they should be arriving safely in Okinawa...back home for them! Hope to hear from him soon.

Well, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and we miss you dearly. You are never too far from our minds and we will see you soon!

Welcome To Hong Kong

Lucas sent me an email containing over 200 pictures and although I would love to post all of them, there is hardly any room for that! However, here is a little taste of the ones that he sent and off course I posted all the ones with him in it because it is a rarity that he is in photos! It is hard to believe that their is such beauty out there and he is over there experiencing it, because there is nothing like this here in the States! It is gorgeous! They are heading back to Okinawa as we speak and this deployment is coming to an end as this is their last journey! I know that we are all way excited to have our loved ones home! And I just can't wait! The Yin Yang Garden

A Japanese Temple

In A Ice Bar...Looking Like Trouble!

Lucas Infront Of The Temple

Visiting The BuddhaHong Kong During The Night....

And Hong Kong During The Day

Long Night? =)

Lucas' Pass Time In Japan

Shots!

A Night Out On The Town With Some Friends

The Buddha Up Close

Yup You Guessed It, Another One Down

Seems like the weeks get away from me...which is good. I have been so consumed on trying to get things ready for Christmas that I have forgot where the time went. I am already doing my shopping and starting to get some special things in order for Lucas. I know it is early, but I know the time will come up on me fast.
I am so glad that another week is gone, 4 months 3 weeks stronger is what I am today. I haven't heard from him much. I got an email about 2 days ago saying that he was in Hong Kong. I hope he is enjoying his time off the ship and can't wait to see amazing photos of a place I would be so lucky to see!

Early, But Who Cares?!

I got our first Christmas tree up and decorated today! It is our first Christmas tree and I was able to get one because Lucas is gone...lol. He never would let me get one since we spend the holidays away in Minnesota so it is pointless to have one and not enjoy it, which I agree. Some how this year I couldn't resist. I know some people think it is way too early to be doing this, but oh well! I am trying to move time along faster...lol...and besides Lucas won't have much of a Christmas and it will be nice to have our own this year a little late, but only by a week or so. I hope to make it home, but if I can't I will still be in the spirit.

However Lucas might now like it since I decorated it very girly...with lots of bright colors and a lot of sparkles!

4 and 1/2 Month Mark

The days keep slipping away and I feel this deployment will be over before I know it now. I am starting to stay busy with my first real hard class that is consuming every moment that I am not working or sleeping! Can't wait for this class to be done!!!! But I just have to get through the next month or so which is hard due to the holidays, but what doesn't break us, makes us stronger right? I keep having dreams about how it will be when we first see each other and I wake to a smile every time...just gets more and more anxious. I'm so glad we are here at this point! Luke is one his way to Hong Kong and hopefully he will take pictures! They will be off of the ship for 4 days so I am sure he will be calling us in those days! I got a phone call last night, but I barely heard him.
This deployment is winding down.........so ecstatic it's almost over!

Let The Rumors Begin...

So Lucas sent me this email this morning labeled just that, let the rumors begin. Here is the email:

"Well the latest rumor going around is that we will be coming back to the states on the 4th of January haven’t heard anything official, we’ll see what happens, I had an all right day today, I flew for about 3 hours, and were just working around the flight schedule, no 14-15 hour days, I didn’t even have to be to work until 10am so that was pretty nice to sleep in for a change on the boat. Other than that nothings new. We will definatley be getting off in Hong Kong for 4 days I think, it should be awesome were all pretty excited!! Hope you had a good day at work! I love you!"


Ohhhh how I hope this is so true or even better...it's earlier! We will have to wait and see as the time gets closer, but I am going to be happier with any time knocked off of the deployment whether it is just one day or not! We all miss him so much and are excited to see him so just cross your fingers super hard for him to come early!

Happy Birthday!

Happy 233rd Birthday to the Marine Corps today...don't know how I forgot, but I just thought of it! It stems from its founding in Nov. 10, 1775 at Tun Tavern in Philadelphia. Just a little factoid for ya all! Happy Birthday!

The Deployment Blues

I totally have the deployment blues today...feel as though it will nnnnnneeeevvvvveeeerrrrrr end. It really is hard seeing other couples together and I just wish that was Lucas and I so bad! It has been hard too just not being able to talk to him...hearing from him either on the phone or through email is a rare occasion now and I don't like it one bit. I keep telling and reminding myself that everything will be alright again sooner than later...and I just need to toughen it out for just a little bit longer...but its hard, at least for today. I'm struggling with the idea that we won't be home for the holidays together, seeing both families that we love so much, but I know they are struggling with that idea as well and I know it won't be the same without him. Just wish my life was like that in the movie "Click" where I could fast forward through this part in life....

4 Months, 1 Week

Yes, its that time again. Another week down!
Lucas called me early yesterday morning at 4 a.m. but I was in a dead sleep and he decided to call back when we were both coherent. So I got to talk to him for a short amount of time since he was on his way to work. They will be in Okinawa probably today, which means Luke has a day off and I would think you all should be expecting a phone call maybe! Or at least an email, since he said they one have one computer on the ship and they are all sharing it which is 40 people, so that is why the emails are so short. It will be good to talk to him and get some questions answered that I have for him.
My stress level is increasing as I have decided after all to make the 27 hour drive to Minnesota and I have a feeling I will be solo. I am dreading it, but I just have to keep my family in mind since I haven't seen them for 6 long months. My niece and nephew are growing so much I hardly recognize them...so I think it is time. However, I am going to have to turn around and make the same trip a month later when Luke returns, but at least I will have my partner in crime to make the ride more enjoyable!
Its off to do loads and loads of homework...this Psychology class is killing me!
58 days left!!!! Wooohooooo!

Another One Down

Had to believe that it is another week down and another week closer to see my hubby! We are officially 4 months into this deployment and it is starting to feel better. It really does seem like yesterday I was driving home from saying good-bye...but like always, not everyday feels like that. I am so glad I am this far and I am so proud of myself for going through this and being so strong...I didn't think I could.
I haven't heard much from Luke lately as he said he hasn't had much computer time. His emails are short and I think he is having a hard time being on the ship, which I would not be able to handle! He says he is ready to come home and is over being on the ship. He told me that since they are doing a really good job that they will be home no longer than 10 weeks...which is around the time I expected him, January 7th. I feared an extension, but I am glad I don't have to worry any longer...another week or month tacked on and I would be a wreck!
Don't know why I am in such a good mood today, but it must be the time change! I'm ready for the week ahead...

Karlee Bella

Lucas,

Your niece is getting soo big and she misses you so much!

Happy Halloween

Happy "Boo" Day Everyone

So, Halloween is not only my favorite holiday, but it is also my mom's birthday. I am so glad that she is getting younger each year and this year she is 39! ; ) So Happy Birthday to my mom and Happy Boo Day to you all. Be safe and take pictures of the little ones for me since I can't be there yet another year!

The Unexpected Never Gets Old

I got a nice unexpected phone call from Lucas late last night. He called just to tell me that they are in port and are about to leave...which I'm getting in the next day or so. We were interrupted by the calling card stating there was only a minute left...short phone call...2 minutes, but well worth it. He said he will be on the ship for a while and doesn't know exactly when they will be getting off next.
He still hasn't gotten my package that I sent out well before his birthday in September and I am thinking it might have gotten lost...=( I hope it is just waiting snug somewhere for him. (wishful thinking!)
I am already starting to think ahead to Christmas. Since either one of us will be able to come home for the holidays I am planning on getting my first own tree this year and keeping it up until Lucas gets back. That way we can celebrate when he gets home and open presents then. I'm getting excited to think that it is just around the corner.

One Week Closer

Although it has been a rough week, I am glad it is over with.
It has been officially 3 months/3 weeks since he has been gone...I'm not
ready for the next week to come, but its more days that are to come and go.
Besides...Halloween is coming up!!!

My Hero

I have to get mushy on you all..."Hero" is our song and I had to put it up on our website because I miss him so very much.
Every time I hear it, it reminds me of the good old days. The song was picked out on our first prom together in 2002 which was my junior year in high school. In 2003, he flew home from San Diego to take me to my senior prom and surprised me by requesting it at the dance and singing it to me while we danced.
The song is just a perfect reflexion upon how we feel and I am glad that time hasn't changed those feelings. I think it is just more fitting now then ever, since he really is my hero, my husband, my best friend and my one true love.
I love you Lucas....miss you!

The Worst Of The Worst

Friday was the worst day of my life!
I awoke early in the morning to being sick and hanging on to dear life to the toilet. I will spare everyone the details =) but it has been a rough couple of days. If definitely made me wish that special someone was here to take care of me! It doesn't help to be a baby to Duke and Bandit because they don't understand why I can't take them for their walk...lol.
I got an early morning phone call this morning that made me feel better though from Luke. It was good to hear from him since I didn't get to talk to him Friday. They are packing everything up as we speak and heading back on the ship. They will be on the ship for a couple days then get off on a different place in the Philippines for a day or so then its back on the ship. Tough life I imagine having to move so much, but Luke should be use to it since we have moved so much. =)
Hard to believe that October has come and gone! I didn't think the time would go by some what fast. More and more of my friends hubbies are coming home and I am getting more and more anxious...We all are!

Is It January Yet?

I got to finally hear and see Lucas over the weekend on Skype and it felt so good to be able to see him. He looked really good but a bit tired. The whole time I was talking to him I couldn't help but feel more and more anxious for him to come home. The days and weeks are getting harder, but I know the date is just around the corner and I am closer than I was yesterday. Hard to think that way though when it feels like eternity!

He got to fly by a volcano the other day, such a thrill seeker, and he was able to take photos, so I can't wait for those to be sent out! Such an amazing adventure he is having. I think the next stops they make will be fun for him, going to Tokyo will be amazing. I can't help but be jealous a little bit!

As for the days, I am one week closer to seeing him and I just hope the coming week goes faster than the last week! I seemed to just drag. 3 1/2 months down...2 1/2 to go.

Weekly Update #2

Flying Tiger Families and Friends,
The next major phase of our deployment has begun with the transition of squadron personnel from the boat to working on dry land in the Philippines.With the exception of our MALS detachment (MALS-36 from Okinawa, or from MALS 16 or 39 in California), all of our Marines have transitioned ashore this week. Our MALS Marines will be staying on the ship until a port visit later this month. The rest of us are working from Clark Air Base or a couple other smaller camps which are on the island of Luzon, just northwestof Manila. One of the local newspapers this morning had a picture of some of our helicopters on the front page, only they were labeled as U. S. Air Force helicopters! I guess the media is susceptible to incorrect information and mis-quotes the world over. As with any major transition like this, it may take a few days to get our e-mail or internet access up and running, please be patient if you are waiting for that message from yourMarine. I do expect this transition to go smoother than when we first got aboard ship. The Flying Tigers continue to accomplish their mission in every clime and place. I am as impressed as ever with their dedication and hard work of every member of the squadron that enables us to get our helicopters up in the air.
Respectfully,
Lieutenant Colonel Doug Schueler
HMM-262 (REIN) Commanding Officer

Earth To Lucas, Where Are You?

I don't think I have spoken or heard from Lucas in about 4 or 5 days and I am wondering what is going on...such as if he made it to the Philippines or if he is just busy?! It is hard no knowing what is going on exactly, but I just have to keep myself busy and think to myself that he is just too busy right now to write or call...if he wasn't he would call. Just hurts to have that lack of communication with someone that is your right arm, well kinda. =)
I'm trying to plan a trip home right now because I will not be able to make it home for Christmas after all unless a miracle hits. It is just going to be way to hard to drive home, drive back in time to pick Luke up, and then drive back home with him and back. That is a lot of driving...81 hours total to be exact! OMG that is a lifetime in the car...lol! We will just have to see, but I'm missing you all like crazy and talking and seeing my niece on the webcam has been so hard! She is getting so big and reminds me of what we are missing out on...=( See you all soon hopefully!
XOXOXO

3 Months, 1 Week Officially

Its been pretty boring around the Leifermann household lately and I miss my little spice although Bandit is full of plenty of it! BRAT! This weekend has gone by tremendously slllllooooowwwww and I, like most of you, do not look forward to the work week especially since it is suppose to be in the 100s again. What the heck! I just want it to feel like fall. Seeing all the Halloween stuff is getting me so excited although I am not decorating this year. Booo! Just doesn't seem worth it when it is just me that is going to see it anyways...or maybe I'm just lazy...lol.
I'm missing home so much today that I have been sitting down and trying to plan a trip home, but I am dreading the long drive! But it will be so worth it since I haven't seen ya all for over 5 months. I think this is the longest I have ever gone...just doesn't feel right!
Well for today, it's another week down and another week to go...we are getting somewhere. It seems like it is right around the corner. =)

Happy Birthday Babe

Happy Birthday To Lucas!
I am sorry that we could not spend yet another year together, I think we are going on 4 years that we have been unable to spend it together, but I will be thinking about you all day. You get to celebrate your birthday twice, because in Japan your birthday was yesterday and in the U.S. it is today! So I hope you feel twice as special! Crazy to think that you are 26 since we met when you were only 19...sigh, how time flies. I hope to spend MANY more years with you. I love you babe! Hope you have a great day and maybe get the chance to do something special (like relaxing a little). =)
XOXOXO

Weekly Update Straight From The Source

Flying Tiger Families and Friends,
The end of another week also signals the end of our evaluation phase as a Marine Expeditionary Unit. While the final debrief will not go until later in the day on Friday, early signs are that the squadron and 31st MEU as a whole did very well. I certainly appreciate the hard work and professional dedication of every Marine and Sailor in this squadron who made this week a safe and successful evolution.
Next up on our schedule is to turn south and sail for the Philippines for our next exercise. By this time next week we should be in the process of establishing ourselves ashore for training with the Philippine Armed Forces. A disclaimer I must insert up front, it always takes a few days to establish internet connectivity every time we move to a new location; please be patient if your Marine is not able to contact you right away upon arrival.
A question was recently brought up to me with regards to how notifications would go out if members of the squadron were involved in a serious incident or accident. While we never like to think of the worst, it is always better to prepare ourselves up front. If a serious incident or accident were to occur, our procedures would be to restrict everyone's routine communications until we could notify the families of those involved. After that we would put out word to all of the families to make you aware of the situation. While I'm sure many of you would want to know what is going on right away to help out those involved, my number one priority would be to respect the wishes of the affected family members. Until next week.

Respectfully,
Lieutenant Colonel Doug Schueler
HMM-262 (REIN) Commanding Officer

FINALLY!

I FINALLY heard from Luke yesterday after many and I mean many failed attempts! My cell phone has gone with me everywhere I go in fear that he will call and I will miss it again. He said he has been having trouble with the phones and not to mention everyone is wanting to use them...I could imagine! It was good to finally get to hear his voice and I was so excited...it is hard to put the time elapsed in a 10 minute conversation and there is so much I wanted to tell him, but there is so little time. It is hard to imagine that time pretty much stands still for them when it comes to back home...their life is on hold while us spouses live the life without them. It is hard to share everything everyday and vise versa. He has been working a lot of long days, 6 am to about 7 pm, 7 days a week (I would literally die having to work that much!) so kudos for him! I hope he gets a day off soon! I hope that everyone gets to hear from him soon!

3 Months Down, 3 Months Left

I still haven't heard from Lucas via telephone, but he emailed me to tell me that the phones were broken so it will probably be awhile till I hear from him. That is kind of a downer, but I have been able to stay very positive for not hearing his voice for so long. This is truly boot camp all over again! =) I hope they get those phones up and running soon!
Today is the 3 month mark! We are almost there, just reaching the half way hump in this deployment and it seems like it came so fast, but at the same time crawled like a snail. All I know is as time passes, we are that much closer to see him. My friend Laura, who is 9 months pregnant, picked her husband up yesterday from a 7 month deployment. I am so happy that he was able to make it just in time for the birth of their daughter! Such a great present to come home to! I know how many others are not so lucky...
I sure am missing fall back home in Minnesota and even North Carolina. I love it when the trees turn these immaculate colors and the weather is cold, but not too cold. It is just the smell in the air...hopefully I can make it up to the mountains next weekend to see all that.
Miss you and love you all lots!
XOXOXO

The Power Of A Phone Call

It is so amazing what a simple phone call can do to you, but today Lucas tried to call me and I was at work and rushed to pick it up, but just as I picked it up it stopped ringing. I knew it was him! Expecting him to call again (we have a call twice rule...lol.) but he didn't and I was MAJORLY bumming. So lets just say my phone has been on me 100 percent of the time tonight. So if you got a phone call and got to talk to him, I'm way jealous, but glad! He at least sounded good on the voicemail! LOL...I guess it's the waiting game for him to call back...

Quick Note

I will be getting emails every week from Lucas' command letting me know what is going on such as where they are headed and how the week is going. I will post them to let you know how he is doing...so far so good. They just got all the pilots trained and have been working VERY hard. Lucas told me that he doesn't get a day off while he is on the ship so that has to be very stressful and exhausting...I couldn't imagine! I will let you all know as soon as I hear the news.

Can You Believe It!!!!!!!! Seriously? Can You?

Lucas is on the ship right now and finally got his email system set up! I went 5 days without hearing from him and it was awful! =) I'm a baby I know, but I'm sure someone shares the same feelings! He is heading for the Philippines but until then they are training the pilots which he told me are not too good...that gets me kind of worried since he is actually on the planes with these horrible pilots! I look forward to pictures of his adventures!

Just when I thought I could get down about things, I found myself with this inner jolt of excitement. I got a package ready to send to Luke today and it made me feel closer to him in this weird way. Decorating cute things for him with "I love yous" and just giving him a piece of home that I sure he misses more an more everyday. I wish I could squeeze myself in that package and arrive to see him, but I know what a week from today we will officially be half way done! It seriously is hard to think that time has passed so fast. I remember crying my eyes out on my way home from dropping him off and feeling like the whole world was crumbling to pieces. Although, hearing from my friends Laura and Kris that their husbands will be home next week excites me that all of us who are going through these tough deployments are getting some where instead of feeling on the road to nowhere. I wouldn't wish this on anyone and I just wish that we can bring our boys home! Ooooorrrrrahhhh!
For now, its 2 months and 3 weeks down of this deployment and we are entering double digits instead of triple digits! That has got to count for something!
XOXOXOXO

Life Lessons

I miss him....

Life can be an uphill battle
When I'd rather walk a trail
If a mountain stands before me
I have to climb it to prevail

A path that even I create
To know the end, I must explore
For mystery makes me curious
Even if fear makes me unsure

The only thing that's certain
Is that nothing has certainty
For faith is still just that
Believing what we can't see

I've walked a line so ever fine
Between what's wrong and right
I've denied what I knew was true
by putting up a fight

The still, small voice inside my head
Speaks volumes when I deny it
It grows even louder still
That is, when I try to hide it

Doubt can be a theif in the night
Robbing us of faith and hope
And even if there's miles before you
You come to the end of your rope

But it's all about perspective
How we see it is how it will be
To know what lies ahead of you
You need to look inside and see

So when faced with a mountain
And it seems too steep to tread
Don't see it as a battle
But a victory instead

Second Phase Is Going To Be Just As Hard

Today marks 2 in a half months and this is where it begins to get hard. Lucas is leaving for the ship tomorrow (since it will be Tuesday there) and I am dreading not being able to talk to him everyday. I know that I will just have to surround myself with staying busy and by the looks of this class that I am taking so far it will not be hard! I have homework coming out of my ears! *sigh* I miss him more than ever and right now I have the feelings that it will never end, but I know the weather is finally getting colder which means I am getting somewhere. Everything just has a different meaning when someone you love is missing. I find myself crying a lot more to the sappy movies that are on because it holds that special meaning...and even songs. I just wish he was home so badly...as we all do.

Pinch Me! I Wanna Wake Up NOW!

Things around the Leifermann household has been stressful lately between work and starting I think the first really challenging class since being in school, I have been so exhausted and it doesn't help that I haven't been sleeping all that great lately for some reason. Too much on my mind...when my body wants to rest, my mind just keeps going. Luke is preparing to go on the ship for 3 months and he said this morning they will be pulling out on Tuesday of next week. It is a bitter sweet time because this means we are half way done with this deployment but also difficult because I won't be receiving anymore phone calls (which I have been spoiled with) and emails will just have to do. This is like boot camp all over again! It seems like lately I have just been so impatient for him to come home...I just want him to be here NOW! I don't want to mow the grass anymore! Hahahahaha...but I am glad I am where I am right now with almost 2 in a half months down instead of a week.
It seems I have been so busy lately that I haven't been fixed to the countdown timer and I was shocked to get on here and see there is only 109 days left! It really is flying by but at the same time, at times it feels as though it is dragging out. We all miss him so much! So get your phone calls in before Tuesday because it will be awhile until we will hear that deep voice of his!

Rest In Peace

Yesterday back home in Austin, people found one of Lucas's friends, Joe Shada dead at his house and it is believed that he took his own life. I never had the privilege of knowing or meeting Joe Shada, but Lucas told me he has known him since he was little. A great deal of my friends know him and a lot of people are shocked and confused right now as to why this has happened. It is always hard to lose someone but I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose someone in this manner...so many questions may never be answered and people are left to wonder and morn. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family during this difficult time and I only hope that in time, questions will be answered to bring closure if that is even possible. For now, you can only hope that he is in a better place...

A Day Of Remembrance 9/11

As we all known, today will always be marked in history. As much as we want to forget, its too hard to. Today is such a somber day for people who lost loved ones and also for restless America who is still fighting, what seems like a never ending war. I remember exactly where I was that day, in my second period class, my junior year of high school. I remember teachers pulling out T.V's to just watch in horror at what was unfolding...and also someone coming over the intercom with news. It was horrible to believe such evil that took over. It just amazes me what people are capable of doing to others...but the question will always be why? A year later, September 9th of 2002 Lucas joined the Marines and I think after what happened a year prior we were all worried for him, but fast forwarding now, I am glad he is safe...selfish I know. He has been in 6 years and has been so lucky to not have to deploy until now. I hear of people having to return on their 3rd duty over to Iraq and it breaks my heart. Most of the time they are gone for years at a time which I could not imagine...I truly look up to those people who are strong enough to endure that because you keep me going!
My cousin Zach is about to endure a year of duty over there at the end of this month which is hitting close to home. I definitely will be thinking of him and his wife Danielle.

The people who lost their lives and the people who are fighting in the war now will always be in my prayers and not a day goes by that I don't thank you for what you have done!

Something To Make You Smile!

I know you had a rough day yesterday, but just a little pick me up. I laughed a little when I saw this...I know you will at least smile a little....

Teale Photography

I found this amazing photographer in San Diego and I thought it would be nice not only for us, but for everyone else to get pictures taken after Luke returns home. We have never been the ones to do something like this, but I figured why not and with the amazing San Diego as our back drop why not? So I was on a search for a photographer that shared the same vision as me and I did! She is young, open and extremely nice! I can't wait to get them done, we are scheduled in February...(babe, you didn't know about this, but now you do! So smile pretty! LOL...I know you hate picture taking) and I am so excited! I'm pretty sure they will turn out great. Here is her website for you to check out some of her pictures and get an idea of what she does...I thought she was amazing.

http://www.tealephotography.net/tealephoto/intro.html

And her myspace page has more great new pics...

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=181899847

Hope you enjoy them!

XOXOXO

An Important Date

Lukes birthday is coming up so I was just browsing the internet trying to find that really cool gift instead of the every year present of clothes which I know he gets soooo excited about! Hahaha, right babe? So I might just have to make something from home to send to him to let him know how much all 3 of us miss him being around. We have not spent his birthday together since he joined the Marines since something always pops up like him having to leave on a debt...so it sucks that it is another year with him gone. Just want to do something special for him, so if you have any ideas please let me know! And if anyone needs his address email me and I will be happy to give it to you...I don't want to post it for security reasons.
He leaves to go on the ship for 3 months soon so I might have to send it out early so he will get it...I know mail kind of slows down due to them being in the middle of no where!
He sounds a little depressed and stressed. He keeps telling me how much he wants to get out of the military and be a free man, which is kind of concerning me. He has such a change of heart since being over there and it makes me wonder what he going through...I think about that a lot when I am laying in bed...wondering what he is doing at that VERY same moment.
He has been looking into various things to do when he gets out of the military and doesn't know whether to go back to school or not. Either way, he is amazing at whatever he does...So he shouldn't worry so much! He had a test today that he was studying for all night, so I hope he did good...cross your fingers! I love you babe...keep your head up! We all miss you a ton and wish you were home!
XOXOXO

This Was Quite The Week!

This week has been crazy at work. I have been having to get up at 5 a.m. (something I haven't had to do in a long time!) and work later due to the kids starting up and school. Getting up early has been kicking me in the booty! But it is helping to keep my mind off of things tremendously!

It is hard to believe that it is 2 months today since Lucas left and we are almost at the half way point! Most of my friends husbands are starting to come home and find joy in seeing pictures of that anxious but exciting moment! I just can't wait for that to be me! Speaking of pictures, I set up a photo shoot for when Lucas comes back. I found this amazing photographer and she is so talented, so I can't wait for that.

Lucas has been doing good, just working a lot. He is preparing to go on the ship at the end of the month, so the everyday phone call will come to an end and we will just have to do with the occasional email, so that will be a hard transition.

My class ends this week and I have a week brake before starting another one. My last class was quite the bore, but I am just glad I am done with it. Well another week has come and gone and I don't think fall will be here anytime soon! It has been sooooo hot here, in the 100's and I am ready for the cooler weather to come that is for sure! I miss and love you all!

Hurricanes Oh My!

I was watching the news today as I was getting ready for work and I was informed that Hurricane Hanna (for sure) and Ike (might not for sure yet) are going to hit North Carolina directly and they have issued for people to evacuate. I immediately texted all my friends to just make sure they are staying safe and what not. It has not hit there yet, but it expected to this weekend, and I am keeping them in my thoughts! Sure enough right when I leave all the fun begins! LOL, me and Lucas are such weather nerds. I remember being in Minnesota and trying to chase down tornadoes together...yeah we are that crazy couple that like to chase whatever with no worries about what it could do to us! One thing is for sure, I miss the North Carolina rain and storms...they are the best! Nothing like cuddling up on the couch and watching the lightning and hearing the thunder and rain hit! Anyways, back from memory lane...I am thinking about everyone there and stay safe! Miss you all tons!

Growing Anticipation For Numerous Things

First off...Happy Labor Day! I am sure many of you have the day off and are enjoying the long weekend and not to mention the short work week! Yippie...especially since I will be going in an hour and a half earlier since school has begun here...the first sign of fall to come. I sure wish I was in Minnesota this time of year...it is absolute beautiful there. I miss the smell that is in the air and definitely being there to see my niece and nephew go trick or treating! I absolutely love Halloween, it is my favorite holiday! Anyways off track...we are onto the 2 month mark and I am getting more anxious. Almost half way done. My girlfriend's husband came home a whole month early from his deployment, so I guess I can always cross my fingers and hope that happens with me! Either way, can't wait to see him. I am also getting excited as I have heard news that my family might come out and visit which I would love. It is not for sure yet, due to somethings, but I miss them more and more everyday, especially my little peanut Karlee! So we will have to see, if all goes well October is the projected month, so I will cross my fingers for that as well. Last and not least, I am entering the last week of one of my classes, which has been such a bore! I hate to say that about education, but this class and the instructor is quite bad, so I am just glad I am getting through it and getting an "A" so far! So I am staying busy and starting to enjoy my time here. I have got in touch with some old friends from here and also from high school and I hope that will help to keep my mind off of things.
Hope everyone enjoyed the long weekend, I know I did with some therapy shopping...lol. Back to the grind tomorrow!

Jumping For Joy

Today marks a month in a half! Yippee!
I am just thinking in a little over a month the countdown timer will be in single digits and that will feel great! Another week coming to a close and another one beginning.

Lets Be Honest

I think it is very important to be honest especially if you are public with how things are REALLY going...there is no point lying about the trialing times. Life is not always full of smiles and peaches (at least I hope not, because I would have to worry...lol).
This week has been the worst week I have had in a long time. Me and Luke have had our own personal battles and have spoke less with one another this week. It is hard fighting with each other thousands of miles apart...but you choose to pick your battles and decide what is really important. Being apart is just starting to get difficult...I think we just both realize that we are unhappy, not with each other, but just in terms of where we want to be in life. It helps to speak of the future, Lucas getting out of the military, being closer to family, having our own family (which I think is well overdue...lol) and just living a "normal" life. No more moving every year and not having a stable life. It was fun when we were younger, I feel so old, but now it is just getting annoying having to completely pick up and start over again...I have lost so many really great friends and it is becoming harder and harder. I miss North Carolina a lot, but the grass is always greener on the other side! That I have truly learned...I just need to learn to be happy with what I have and not worry about what I don't.
This time apart is helping me to find myself and discover things that I need to work on. I think Lucas is also figuring such things out too and what he wants out of his life and for OUR future which is important. We are still young and figuring out who we are and want to be...I'm just glad we can accept each other as we change. Nothing seems to make sense right now, but staying positive is one thing I can do the best...

Sadness Is Natural During This Process

Im Sad!
This blog always makes me sad when I login to look at it or write a blog. I have to just sit and stare at all the pictures and it makes me miss him so freaking much! I keep having flashbacks of the night that I dropped him off, the way he hugged me, the way his 5 o'clock shadow brushed against my face (miss that) and the tears that clouded my vision. This is so depressing, but it is hard to not think about that last moment we shared and I wish I would have told him I loved him or kissed him just one last time. Yeah I know, it wouldn't have made me miss him less, but I long for those things that I think are easy to take for granted! Trust me, this experience is very humbling and makes you realize exactly why your life is amazing and why you are married to this person. Sometimes life takes that away...it does with everyone and if it doesn't for you, you are lying! LOL.
My favorite season is coming up...autumn. I love it and I miss Luke was here to share it with me. He knows my favorite holiday is Halloween and too bad we couldn't pass out candy together again this year! I know he enjoyed it so much last year...lol.
*sigh* Another day down.......

Exactly 1 Month, 1 Week Under My Belt

I went through and looked through all of my previous posts and just remember the EXACT feeling I had when I sat at the computer pounding out the words on the keyboard...devastated, crushed, sometimes crying, but hopeful for the future. I could not be happier to be sitting here, 1 month, 1 week stronger. Although it has been just a short amount of time, I am just content with not being a "newbie" to this situation although I kind of still am. I just have faced some hard times and I can honestly say that I am in the category of women that not everyone can put themselves in, the strong and a category where others see as extraordinary. I have so much more respect for people who go through this because it is not as easy as it seems. I thought...what a walk in the park, but while the world turns and time slowly goes by, people live their lives while you are putting yours on hold for that special person. Lucas is well worth that. Seeing my friends go through this helps to keep me human and my feelings are validated through them and it helps to know that I am not alone when sometimes I feel like I am very alone. Today is a good strong day and it is almost over. Another week down...I miss family more and more as I speak with them on the phone. I'm missing out on so much, but we will be close one day and it will feel good being a driving distance away. I definitely realized I have spent most of my life just missing people! For now...its more days down and a more anxious feeling to see the man that I love and miss more than words could explain.

2 Worlds Apart

As I gaze, gaze, and gaze some more at the countdown, 145 days seems like an eternity! I feel like the days keep flying by but not so much on the countdown. I just can't wait for single digits, triple digits just seems like forever...better yet eternity!

I believe now is when the hard part will begin for me. Lucas and I have gone through so many month long trips apart which became easy to do, but we have never had to go much longer than a month. Now that the month marker is here, I have been really impatient! I want to do things that I see other people doing. Just simple things like go to the movies, go out to eat somewhere special, or even someone to snuggle with in bed...all things that get taken for granted. It makes you really appreciate the time you have with the person you love the most.

Tension has been high between us both, we, especially Lucas, misses family a ton. He said that it was cool at first to be in a new place, have a new experience, but he is just ready to be home with everyone and I don't blame him. He is working constantly in really hot conditions and I guess the rules are very strict, Lucas almost got suspended from going out a couple weekends ago. So I am sure he misses his freedom! This is the point where the work begins and the true test starts.

To Lucas,

Things are hard I know, but we can make it through this together. We have been through much worse trialing times and made it out on top. Not everyday is going to be peachy and sunny, but it is only because we miss and love each other. There are no words that I can write out in this blog to possibly express how I feel about you! Stay strong, we all love and miss you dearly. Remember, we are like peanut butter and jelly...we just fit perfect together! LOL...;)

Love you!

1 Month Milestone

Here are some more pictures from Okinawa. The pictures of the water and landscape are truly amazing and beautiful, it is hard to believe it is real and Lucas is there. California is beautiful, but it is hard to believe that places like paradise really do exist! Hopefully one day I will be so lucky to be in paradise!
Things have really begun to pick up around here. I have been constantly busy with things that leave me exhausted and not really having time to think too much which is very good for me. I am definitely back in school mode which stresses me out due to the overload of reading and homework, but if I didn't have that, I would be bored. When Lucas comes home I will be almost graduated...6 more months (have a year now). Lucas and I have gotten webcams to talk to one another and it has been good to actually see him when I am talking to him and vice versa. Duke and Bandit began freaking out wondering where Lucas's voice was coming from and Duke kept running in the other rooms trying to figure it out...poor thing! He misses him a lot I can tell.
Well it is officially a month today, hard to believe, but 2 months here we come!