Sunday, August 17, 2008

Exactly 1 Month, 1 Week Under My Belt

I went through and looked through all of my previous posts and just remember the EXACT feeling I had when I sat at the computer pounding out the words on the keyboard...devastated, crushed, sometimes crying, but hopeful for the future. I could not be happier to be sitting here, 1 month, 1 week stronger. Although it has been just a short amount of time, I am just content with not being a "newbie" to this situation although I kind of still am. I just have faced some hard times and I can honestly say that I am in the category of women that not everyone can put themselves in, the strong and a category where others see as extraordinary. I have so much more respect for people who go through this because it is not as easy as it seems. I thought...what a walk in the park, but while the world turns and time slowly goes by, people live their lives while you are putting yours on hold for that special person. Lucas is well worth that. Seeing my friends go through this helps to keep me human and my feelings are validated through them and it helps to know that I am not alone when sometimes I feel like I am very alone. Today is a good strong day and it is almost over. Another week down...I miss family more and more as I speak with them on the phone. I'm missing out on so much, but we will be close one day and it will feel good being a driving distance away. I definitely realized I have spent most of my life just missing people! For now...its more days down and a more anxious feeling to see the man that I love and miss more than words could explain.

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