Saturday, July 19, 2008

Growing Worries

I try not to worry too much about things that I can not change or have no control over, but it is hard to do that when you are a military wife. Everything in your families lives are so unexpected and you just learn to expect anything and everything that could possible get thrown at you. I am so worried that Lucas would have to go to Afghanistan where I hear is getting really bad. A girlfriend that I know, her husband had to leave to go there and will be gone for a year and apparently they are sending 15,000 more troops over to help. I know that during our deployment briefing that I attended before Lucas left prepared us for the possibility of having to deal with them leaving Japan to go to Iraq or elsewhere that needs help but I am just sitting here everyday crossing my fingers hard and praying that Lucas will not be one of them. Is that selfish of me to do that? I feel in a sense it is, but everyone wants to be selfish in situations like this where a loved one is in harms way, but its all the same in the end, fighting for your country is a great honor and something to stand tall for. Stand for something or fall for nothing.
I just recently found out that my cousin Zachary will be heading over to Iraq in September along with another person I know from North Carolina. I have never been surrounded by so many deployments out of 6 years being in the military environment and its starting to hit very close to home.
For now, as hard as it, I am going to try and just concentrate on today and today only, because I can not change tomorrow or yesterday...

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