Monday, July 14, 2008

Denial Instantly Fades Away


I really thought that denial would stay for awhile and it would take a lot longer for it to all settle in my mind since we have been through these "mini deployments" all too often, but some how today I just knew it was different. I don't know what made it trigger, maybe not seeing the small things such as his shampoo or toothbrush next to mine or maybe just seeing his car in the garage, but it seemed to just hit me like a brick when I woke up. It was hard enough getting about an hour sleep and maybe that is why I am so emotional today...who knows. I felt bad for Duke because he waits by the door for Luke to come home and I know he is just a dog, but it is hard to know that he wont be coming home for awhile. Luke and Duke (lol) have that special bond with one another and it seems as though Duke is depressed when he is gone. All these small things is making the denial go away fast and it hasnt even been 24 hours yet.

I am lucky that I have 4 girlfriends that are going through this same thing right now and it helps to hear from them that it will get better and the tears will stop, and your pain turns into being anxious as the month dwindle down....I just cant wait to feel that.

I heard from Luke this morning at about 5:14a.m. and they were just boarding a plane from L.A. to Alaska. He had a long night riding on the bus to get to the airport and I am sure he is exhausted, but he wont get a break for a while. When he arrives at Alaska he, and his whole squadron have to go through customs which will take a long time as they have to go through every single bag and make sure there is nothing illegal. Then they will catch their flight from Alaska to Japan which I think is like 14 hours, I am not sure, but he will have plenty of time to get some R and R.

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