It's The Little Things

I find myself having a bad day, but finding the little things that turn it all around. This week has been hard, I miss Lucas more than ever and this is when I believe it is going to get hard. We have been through so many month long departures and this just feels like another one of those and especially as we are approaching a month this weekend. I don't know if things will get easier until that 5th or 6th month...This deployment stuff is hard work! I feel exhausted just trying to keep my mind off of Lucas and concentrate on other things. Today was another not so good day, but as I was looking at the countdown clock I am excited about seeing a 4 instead of a 5 and it is just those small things that keep me going. Although time may feel like it is standing still, that countdown shows just exactly how close I am to seeing him again. It may sound dumb, but as every number gets lower I grow more and more anxious. I just keep reminding myself, at least I have all these days done. I've really grown to be a more positive person because it is all I can be is positive and be strong for our families and for him. Like always, I love mine and Lucas's family to death and keep the letters coming! He says he enjoys them and gives him a piece of "home." Love you all!

Living For Today

Today was a horrible day!
I am so feeling not ok and it was hard enough getting up to go to work, but I had also got up at 2:30a.m. and did not fall back asleep until 5:30a.m., but surprise! I had to get up an hour later! So I was crabby...and being sick did not help my sleep deprived state. Today I just really miss Lucas. I was kind of content with being alone and having "me" time but I am now sick of that and it didn't take long! I keep thinking..."Meggan wake up from this bad dream." but that is just what this feels like, so not real. Is he REALLY gone for 6 months? Is he REALLY going to miss out on Birthdays and Holidays? I am trying not to think about all that negative stuff, I really am. I guess having a bad day will just make everything else around you 10 times worse. All I know is the phone calls that I get in the middle of the night from him keeps me smiling, stronger, and hopeful. It amazes me how his voice and now being able to see him through his web cam, helps to calm me and think positive again. I think that just shows each other how much we love one another and really rely on each other to get through this together. We have fought a lot leading up to this deployment, but I believe it was because we were pushing each away from feeling the hurt of really losing someone, but we are drawing each other back in and it feels good being so close, but so far away from him. It truly tests your character and love...I am glad that I am going through this test with him and it will only make us stronger. Hell...We have been through everything else...whats one more thing we haven't been tested on right? ;) Living for today is all I can do...lets just hope tomorrow comes and goes just as fast! Love to you all from both of us!

3 Week Mark!

Can you believe that it has already been 3 weeks? Yeah! LOL, 3 weeks has seemed like forever, but as I start to occupy my time better it seems to be slipping more and more easily through my fingers.

Today I am feeling a little sick, the flu has been going through the daycare I work at and I think it finally caught me and kicked me in the butt. I work up at 6 a.m. with unbearable pressure on my face and it could be my sinuses and I have a sore throat and body chills and aches. Just yucky! But despite how I was feeling I had a great deal to accomplish today. I planted flowers that I was dying to do since we moved here...they look beautiful! Definitely an experience as I never really knew it took so much effort! I also mowed the neglected lawn and trimmed the bushes. Just when I thought I was done...I had to clean the house and do laundry! Sigh! Now it is time to maybe take a nap and just relax. School starts up again on Tuesday, I had a little break in between classes, so that will also keep me occupied. I love school, but I am so ready for it to be over with. Just one more year! I think about my family a lot and how much I miss them! I do not know what I would do without everyone's support both family and friends! My friends are nice to talk to about everything because they have been there and are going through it right now. Others have a hard time relating and just don't know what to say, but I tend to keep what is going on out of the way of everything. I am finally good with the whole situation and it has been a while since I've had a bad day because of it. So! Let time keep marching on and on so we can get this over with! Love you all!

It's A Pretty Big Deal

Today was a historic day! You know it is bad what you are blogging about it, but gas officially is under four dollars here. I was amazed moving how here what difference there was in gas prices from Minnesota to California and it was a BIG difference! When arriving here, gas was almost at five dollars a gallon and I was beginning to think it was getting out of hand. It is hard to believe that I remember when my brother was driving to high school and gas was hitting a dollar something and that was even a big deal. Crazy how things change. I sound so old when I say..."Back in the day...It cost me..." lol. I am so happy today that gas went down because like many people out here, our commutes are at least 10 to 20 minutes and I have to drive around 10 to 15 miles just to get to work, so I am smiling that I won't feel as big of a hit to my wallet...Lets just hope that it keeps going down and not up!

This wave of "gas" emotion hit me on my way out of a lonely day of shopping by myself. A real loner I am, I know, and I hate shopping by myself and Lucas was never fond of me dragging him along. I have yet to find someone "special" enough to drag along with me! LOL. It is times like these that I wish I had Lucas by my side. It is nice to hear other peoples feelings when you have doubt lingering and most of the time, Lucas's point of view was the deciding factor! ;) I need someone to visit to do some shopping damage on San Diego!

Pain? What Pain?

I can't believe that this Sunday will already be 3 weeks since Luke left. In so many ways it has gone by slow, but if I sit and think about it, it has really flown by, like so many told me it would. I can honestly say that I haven't cried for about 2 weeks now and I am beginning to just accept it for it is and what it is worth. There is nothing I can do about my situation but make the most of what I have. I think about him all the time, when I am at work, while I watch T.V. and just wonder what he is doing at that very second. Missing him is what I do best!

Shaking In San Diego

Today there was a major earthquake that hit L.A. and was said to be about a 5.8 but they later down graded it to a 5.4 which is still pretty major. Luckily, it did not cause serious damage anywhere. We felt it down here in San Diego and it was weird because I was at work when it happened. I was sitting in a chair with the kids and I started shaking back and forth and I asked Desarae (the other girl who I work with) if she felt it, but we didn't think much of the situation or even thought it was an earthquake for that matter. I get a phone call from Kim asking me if everything was ok and that is when I knew...(thanks Kim for checking up on me! ;) I have never experienced an earthquake before in the whole 4 years we have lived out here and I am so glad that it was not bad...I don't know what I would have done! So all is good here!

Lucas had duty last night till this morning and he might have to turn around and go to work, which would be hard on him since he probably only got like 4 hours of sleep. It is hard to believe that tomorrow is already Wednesday...time is going by some what faster now. Just glad I have at least 2 weeks under my belt...wish it was 3 months! It will be here before I know it though! I have been really lucky to get back in touch with some friends out here and I am sure that will help to pass the time! Hope all is well...just wanted to tell you all I am safe...no damage! Phew!

2 Weeks Today! And Excitement Growing!

Flying Over Alaska, Their First Stop
Finally! Arriving In Japan!
This is where he is at when he is talking to you!
Right outside of the front gates of the base...his new home away from home.
The beaches look amazing!

I am sure that many of you received an email with these pictures that Lucas took yesterday on his first adventure of Japan, but I wanted to post a few if some of you didn't. It really is hard to believe that he is over there, but the pictures are just that constant reminder that this dream is true. It is weird to know that he is a world away from us, different time zone, different day, different culture, etc. I can't help to be jealous when I see pictures of a world and culture I may never experience, but in the same breath, I am so glad it is him and this experience is going to be ever changing for him. The beaches and water look so amazing, like straight out of a travel magazine. The water looks so crystal clear, but I don't know if I would get in the water after seeing the warning signs posted, even if the coast was all clear! His new haircut is funny to see. I remember taking him to base to drop him off and all, or most of his fellow Marines had their heads shaved and they were giving him a hard time about it. I guess Marines shave their heads on their first deployment for some reason, and I asked why he didn't and he just said he didn't want to look dumb! But I am sure it is nice to have it all gone...some days I wish I could shave all mine off! LOL. He looks extremely excited and sounds better everyday I speak with him. So far, 2 weeks are down of this deployment and I am starting to just be anxious for this to be over with. Although these 2 weeks seems like a month, I know that the time will pass quicker and quicker and he will be home before we know it. I am just anxiously awaiting more adventures that he takes and pictures which just get me more excited about the deployment! For now, it's another day almost done and a new one to face tomorrow. I never thought I would be so excited for tomorrow to be over with!

Lucas and I found this hilarious! Just thought I would make a less depressing post!