Hurricanes Oh My!

I was watching the news today as I was getting ready for work and I was informed that Hurricane Hanna (for sure) and Ike (might not for sure yet) are going to hit North Carolina directly and they have issued for people to evacuate. I immediately texted all my friends to just make sure they are staying safe and what not. It has not hit there yet, but it expected to this weekend, and I am keeping them in my thoughts! Sure enough right when I leave all the fun begins! LOL, me and Lucas are such weather nerds. I remember being in Minnesota and trying to chase down tornadoes together...yeah we are that crazy couple that like to chase whatever with no worries about what it could do to us! One thing is for sure, I miss the North Carolina rain and storms...they are the best! Nothing like cuddling up on the couch and watching the lightning and hearing the thunder and rain hit! Anyways, back from memory lane...I am thinking about everyone there and stay safe! Miss you all tons!

Growing Anticipation For Numerous Things

First off...Happy Labor Day! I am sure many of you have the day off and are enjoying the long weekend and not to mention the short work week! Yippie...especially since I will be going in an hour and a half earlier since school has begun here...the first sign of fall to come. I sure wish I was in Minnesota this time of year...it is absolute beautiful there. I miss the smell that is in the air and definitely being there to see my niece and nephew go trick or treating! I absolutely love Halloween, it is my favorite holiday! Anyways off track...we are onto the 2 month mark and I am getting more anxious. Almost half way done. My girlfriend's husband came home a whole month early from his deployment, so I guess I can always cross my fingers and hope that happens with me! Either way, can't wait to see him. I am also getting excited as I have heard news that my family might come out and visit which I would love. It is not for sure yet, due to somethings, but I miss them more and more everyday, especially my little peanut Karlee! So we will have to see, if all goes well October is the projected month, so I will cross my fingers for that as well. Last and not least, I am entering the last week of one of my classes, which has been such a bore! I hate to say that about education, but this class and the instructor is quite bad, so I am just glad I am getting through it and getting an "A" so far! So I am staying busy and starting to enjoy my time here. I have got in touch with some old friends from here and also from high school and I hope that will help to keep my mind off of things.
Hope everyone enjoyed the long weekend, I know I did with some therapy shopping...lol. Back to the grind tomorrow!

Jumping For Joy

Today marks a month in a half! Yippee!
I am just thinking in a little over a month the countdown timer will be in single digits and that will feel great! Another week coming to a close and another one beginning.

Lets Be Honest

I think it is very important to be honest especially if you are public with how things are REALLY going...there is no point lying about the trialing times. Life is not always full of smiles and peaches (at least I hope not, because I would have to worry...lol).
This week has been the worst week I have had in a long time. Me and Luke have had our own personal battles and have spoke less with one another this week. It is hard fighting with each other thousands of miles apart...but you choose to pick your battles and decide what is really important. Being apart is just starting to get difficult...I think we just both realize that we are unhappy, not with each other, but just in terms of where we want to be in life. It helps to speak of the future, Lucas getting out of the military, being closer to family, having our own family (which I think is well overdue...lol) and just living a "normal" life. No more moving every year and not having a stable life. It was fun when we were younger, I feel so old, but now it is just getting annoying having to completely pick up and start over again...I have lost so many really great friends and it is becoming harder and harder. I miss North Carolina a lot, but the grass is always greener on the other side! That I have truly learned...I just need to learn to be happy with what I have and not worry about what I don't.
This time apart is helping me to find myself and discover things that I need to work on. I think Lucas is also figuring such things out too and what he wants out of his life and for OUR future which is important. We are still young and figuring out who we are and want to be...I'm just glad we can accept each other as we change. Nothing seems to make sense right now, but staying positive is one thing I can do the best...

Sadness Is Natural During This Process

Im Sad!
This blog always makes me sad when I login to look at it or write a blog. I have to just sit and stare at all the pictures and it makes me miss him so freaking much! I keep having flashbacks of the night that I dropped him off, the way he hugged me, the way his 5 o'clock shadow brushed against my face (miss that) and the tears that clouded my vision. This is so depressing, but it is hard to not think about that last moment we shared and I wish I would have told him I loved him or kissed him just one last time. Yeah I know, it wouldn't have made me miss him less, but I long for those things that I think are easy to take for granted! Trust me, this experience is very humbling and makes you realize exactly why your life is amazing and why you are married to this person. Sometimes life takes that away...it does with everyone and if it doesn't for you, you are lying! LOL.
My favorite season is coming up...autumn. I love it and I miss Luke was here to share it with me. He knows my favorite holiday is Halloween and too bad we couldn't pass out candy together again this year! I know he enjoyed it so much last year...lol.
*sigh* Another day down.......

Exactly 1 Month, 1 Week Under My Belt

I went through and looked through all of my previous posts and just remember the EXACT feeling I had when I sat at the computer pounding out the words on the keyboard...devastated, crushed, sometimes crying, but hopeful for the future. I could not be happier to be sitting here, 1 month, 1 week stronger. Although it has been just a short amount of time, I am just content with not being a "newbie" to this situation although I kind of still am. I just have faced some hard times and I can honestly say that I am in the category of women that not everyone can put themselves in, the strong and a category where others see as extraordinary. I have so much more respect for people who go through this because it is not as easy as it seems. I thought...what a walk in the park, but while the world turns and time slowly goes by, people live their lives while you are putting yours on hold for that special person. Lucas is well worth that. Seeing my friends go through this helps to keep me human and my feelings are validated through them and it helps to know that I am not alone when sometimes I feel like I am very alone. Today is a good strong day and it is almost over. Another week down...I miss family more and more as I speak with them on the phone. I'm missing out on so much, but we will be close one day and it will feel good being a driving distance away. I definitely realized I have spent most of my life just missing people! For now...its more days down and a more anxious feeling to see the man that I love and miss more than words could explain.

2 Worlds Apart

As I gaze, gaze, and gaze some more at the countdown, 145 days seems like an eternity! I feel like the days keep flying by but not so much on the countdown. I just can't wait for single digits, triple digits just seems like forever...better yet eternity!

I believe now is when the hard part will begin for me. Lucas and I have gone through so many month long trips apart which became easy to do, but we have never had to go much longer than a month. Now that the month marker is here, I have been really impatient! I want to do things that I see other people doing. Just simple things like go to the movies, go out to eat somewhere special, or even someone to snuggle with in bed...all things that get taken for granted. It makes you really appreciate the time you have with the person you love the most.

Tension has been high between us both, we, especially Lucas, misses family a ton. He said that it was cool at first to be in a new place, have a new experience, but he is just ready to be home with everyone and I don't blame him. He is working constantly in really hot conditions and I guess the rules are very strict, Lucas almost got suspended from going out a couple weekends ago. So I am sure he misses his freedom! This is the point where the work begins and the true test starts.

To Lucas,

Things are hard I know, but we can make it through this together. We have been through much worse trialing times and made it out on top. Not everyday is going to be peachy and sunny, but it is only because we miss and love each other. There are no words that I can write out in this blog to possibly express how I feel about you! Stay strong, we all love and miss you dearly. Remember, we are like peanut butter and jelly...we just fit perfect together! LOL...;)

Love you!

1 Month Milestone

Here are some more pictures from Okinawa. The pictures of the water and landscape are truly amazing and beautiful, it is hard to believe it is real and Lucas is there. California is beautiful, but it is hard to believe that places like paradise really do exist! Hopefully one day I will be so lucky to be in paradise!
Things have really begun to pick up around here. I have been constantly busy with things that leave me exhausted and not really having time to think too much which is very good for me. I am definitely back in school mode which stresses me out due to the overload of reading and homework, but if I didn't have that, I would be bored. When Lucas comes home I will be almost graduated...6 more months (have a year now). Lucas and I have gotten webcams to talk to one another and it has been good to actually see him when I am talking to him and vice versa. Duke and Bandit began freaking out wondering where Lucas's voice was coming from and Duke kept running in the other rooms trying to figure it out...poor thing! He misses him a lot I can tell.
Well it is officially a month today, hard to believe, but 2 months here we come!